Art & Design, Style, The Feed

Perfect for Jamaican roads: the AK-47-proof BMW X5

Available from Stewart Motors, Jamaica’s official BMW importers:

The risk of armed violence – and in particular, attack with automatic weapons like the AK-47 – is a fact of everyday life for certain customers. In response to this threat, a new level of vehicle security is required. At the same time, more and more people want Sports Activity Vehicles, with all the versatility that they offer to go anywhere and do anything. BMW is the first manufacturer to respond to these two demands and offer a new degree of security. The result is the new BMW X5 Security Plus.

Continue reading

Standard
The Feed

Win the lottery in Jamaica? Get a beard.

Beg yu a bills nuh?

Like many Jamaicans FIRST kind of gave up buying Lotto tickets after the US$240 million went ‘unclaimed’. And like Jamaicans are want to do, FIRST had ‘invested’ significant $ in this particular ponzi scheme only to come out like we all had in Cash Plus and Olint.

So today we do at least feel better to know that someone has indeed won, a ‘Mr S Clarke, a farmer from Manchester who very cooly waited one-and-a-half months before claiming his winnings.

His reaction to the win, as reported by the Observer? Gayle told his friends he was “going home to have a bath and go to bed.” And as for the long wait: “I decided to take the time to relax and sort myself out.”

We rate this guy. And for everyone else: just allow him to leave in peace. He plans to invest in real estate and farming.

Standard
The Feed

Jamaican tales of expatriate life and death

Expats really live a nice life. Nice house uptown, nice SUV and pretty girls looking for visas. But were you reading Harper’s Magazine in 1861, things would’ve seemed a lot worse…

“The title that I have given to this chapter of woe is a metaphorical one. I was not, like Columbus, exactly wrecked upon the coast of Jamaica. I was simply banished there by an Esculapian ukase, and forbidden, under penalty of death, to leave the island for six months. In this light, then, I was cast away, and – may Heaven be thanked for all its mercy! – I live to record the fact.”

Continue reading

Standard